Sexy Bastards

Romance
Date Published: November 24, 2015

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**Available for a LIMITED TIME, this boxed set contains over FORTY DOLLARS worth of books for only 99 cents!**
***Warning: Contains thousands of pages of sexy alpha males, steamy sex, and passionate romance.***
For the first time ever, bestselling authors Alice Ward and Helen Grey combine to bring you their complete collection of the sexiest, wickedest books—guaranteed to melt your heart and panties!
From hot and dominant soldiers to seductively bad stepbrothers and billionaire playboys, this TWENTY-EIGHT BOOK BOXED SET indulges every sensual desire you’ve ever had.
You know it’s true… everyone loves a sexy bastard…
Contained inside this mega-bundle:
Alice Ward
Reckless Box Set (contains complete 5-part series)
Taming the Billionaire Box Set (contains complete 5-part series)
My Stepbrother, My Lover (complete standalone novel)
Love All Out—A Stepbrother Romance Box Set (contains complete 5-part series)
Stage Struck (contains complete 2-part series)
Helen Grey
Serving the Soldier—An Alpha Military Romance (contains complete 5-part series)
Flaming Desire—An Alpha Billionaire Romance (contains complete 5-part series)
Taming the Billionaire by Alice Ward – Excerpt
“I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted,” Drake said, pulling off his shoes. He stripped down to his silk boxers and crawled between the sheets. I moved to the foot of the bed and stood before him with a coy smile on my face.
“Before you nod off, I have a confession,” I began.
Drake raised an eyebrow and returned my grin. “Oh yeah? What’s that?”
“I spent more money today than you realized,” I told him as I unwrapped the belt of my wrap dress. “I wanted to show you how much I appreciate the way you’ve spoiled me today.”
The dress fell open, revealing the peach silk lingerie I’d found in a small boudoir shop. The translucent fabric clung to my curves, barely covering the crotchless panties beneath.
Drake pushed himself up in the bed and parted the sheets, nodding for me to slip in beside him. “You look stunning, Chelsea. I hope there’s more where this came from,” he added, stroking the soft fabric. He brushed the silk against my body and my hair stood on end, as if electrified. I reached between his legs and found him stiff and ready.
Drake lifted his hips off of the bed and slipped out of his boxers. He tossed them to the floor before lying on his side and pulling me into his arms. We kissed lightly, our lips barely touching, as the jet began to move.
“I have an idea,” I told him, sitting up. Drake moved with me as I fell back to the mattress, this time with my head near the footboard. I wanted Drake inside me as the jet climbed to the heavens, and he caught on to my plan without explanation. He left my side just long enough to fetch a condom and roll it down his eager shaft. He returned to the bed and I pulled him down on top of me.
Our lips met as the jet slowed to a stop again. I knew we’d reached the runway and were waiting for final clearance. Drake held me close and we kissed softly, our bodies pressed together. We moved in unison, our bodies seamlessly joining as the jet lurched forward again. As we bumped down the runway, Drake’s cock touched places inside me I’d never known existed.
“Oh my God,” I gasped as the force of the jet pushed him deeper inside me.
The front of the jet lifted off the ground and Drake wrapped his arms around me, holding our bodies together. I moved my hips in circles, grinding into him as I planted my palms on the footboard to hold myself steady.
“Jesus, Chelsea,” Drake moaned. “I didn’t know I could get so deep.” His hips moved in instinctive, rapid thrusts as we climbed into the sky. Essentially, we were hanging upside down, and all of my senses were distorted. Drake wove his fingers through my hair and gave it a quick tug just as his teeth clamped down on my earlobe. The mixture of pleasure and pain was overwhelming. I bucked wildly against him and reached ecstasy just as the plane righted itself. Drake let out an animalistic grunt and with one hard push, he exploded within me. He immediately collapsed on the bed, gasping for breath.
“That… was… amazing.”
“Yes, it was,” I agreed, reaching for the bedside mini-fridge. I grabbed a cold bottle of water and took a long sip before passing it to Drake. He finished it in two long gulps and wiped his mouth with a sigh.
“So,” he said, pulling me back into his arms. He fingered my silk negligee. “Is there more where this came from?”
I smiled and nuzzled into his neck. “I guess you’ll just have to wait and see.”


Flaming Desire by Helen Grey – Excerpt
I got right to the point. “I’ve been told that you’ve alienated one of the doctors—”
“Doctor Linder?” Matt asked.
I nodded.
“He’s a prick.”
Startled, I almost laughed. “Didn’t take you long to peg him, did it?”
He shook his head. “I didn’t say anything earlier because I didn’t want to embarrass you for one, and for two, I’m not familiar with how things work at this hospital. But I did see the good doctor leaving the supply closet just moments before Vanessa did. I could tell by the look on his face and the smirk he gave you what had been going on in there.”
I said nothing, surprised that Matt had seen and not said anything.
“Look, I know stuff like this happens in the workplace—any workplace. But what’s the protocol here? Has that happened before?”
I nodded. “It’s a tricky situation,” I explained. “I can’t report him without evidence to back it up. You see, Matt, we’re just nurses… and as you know, nurses don’t have that much power when it comes to the doctors and surgeons.” I shrugged. “Most of the physicians here are good people. Still, there are some, like Doctor Linder, who take advantage. I’ve seen it happen elsewhere too. Santa Fe General is not unique.”
“He’s an arrogant ass,” Matt said. “But your point is well taken.”
I nodded and began to walk toward my car, not really surprised that Matt kept in step with me. I didn’t want to be rude and tell him to go away, because to be honest with myself, I didn’t. Still, I had to be careful. I was his mentor, even if it was only for the next couple of days. We would also be going on the ride-alongs with the paramedics in the morning. I was supposed to set a good example, but I didn’t suppose there was anything wrong with him walking me to my car, was there? Besides, it was getting dark, and I appreciated the escort.
“So, Jesse—”
“Jessica,” I sighed.
“So Jessica, what do you do in your downtime?”
I glanced up at him in surprise. “Why?”
He shook his head. “Just an attempt at friendly conversation.”
We were steps away from my car now. I pulled the keys from my purse and pushed a button on the remote. My headlight and taillights flashed, and then I pressed another button. The back window popped open. Reaching for the door handle, I opened the door toward me. I looked up at him only to find him staring at the contents stowed behind the rear passenger seats.
“What?”
He grinned. “For one, I just didn’t expect you to drive a Jeep,” he said, shrugging.
“Really?” I asked. “And what exactly did you expect I would drive?” Was he flirting?
“Oh, I don’t know, a Camry maybe, or a Ford Focus.”
I frowned and made a face. “I do a lot of driving between here and Colorado—”
“Seriously?”
I tucked my purse inside a plastic storage crate near the door like I always did, wondering why he stared so curiously at the items in the back. “Yes,” I replied. “I have several friends up there and we get together several times a year—”
He gestured to the supplies I kept for wildfire fighting neatly organized in the back of the Jeep. Ropes. First aid kit. Helmet. Protective gear. He then focused his attention on a pile of supplies tucked up against the back seat. A claw tool. A fire ax, shovel, and beneath the pile, the edge of a firefighter’s helmet. He stared from me to the supplies and back again.
“What?”
“You’ve got quite a rig back there,” he commented. “Mine is almost exactly like it.”
I smiled. You’re an independent contractor too, own your own rig and gear?”
“Most of it,” he said. “If I’m close, I drive, which I’m sure you do as well, considering your choice of vehicles.”
I laughed. He had me pegged. It was a common practice with most contracted wildfire firefighters, hotshots and smoke-jumpers, especially those signed on with the National Forest Service or other agencies. Other than that, independent contractors like us would be grouped into teams and flown into trouble spots by the agency in charge, along with their equipment.
He gave me an appraising look. “Advanced ACLS?”
I nodded. I was Advanced Cardiovascular Life Support certified.
He grinned. I felt an odd sense of pleasure and pride.
I closed the back door and then turned to move toward the side of the Jeep. I thought he was going to step back, but he didn’t, and once again, I bumped into him. Felt his rock hard chest. My hand brushed up against his pants and I realized that he was sporting what I sensed was the beginning of a hard-on. Seriously? Just seeing my rig got him off?
He gently placed his hands on my shoulders until I regained my balance. He stared down at me, his expression serious. “I’m just going to throw this out here, Jesse—”
“Jessica,” I said, although my voice only came out a whisper.
“I’m attracted to you,” he said bluntly. “I know you’re my mentor, and I appreciate that and recognize the boundaries. At the same time, as you obviously just felt, I do have to admit that I’m attracted to you.”
I stared at him a moment, not sure he had just said that. Was he always so blunt? Again I felt the heat of the blush travel up into my cheeks, although I doubted he could see it in the growing darkness. Thank goodness for small favors. Desire surged through me. Would it really matter if I admitted the same? I quickly shook my head. Foolishness. I had enough to do without getting involved with someone like Matt. He was obviously a player. I too had seen the looks women had given him today; the contemplation, the open desire in many of their expressions. I might feel the same, but I certainly wasn’t going to admit it. I wasn’t as easy as Vanessa, that was for sure.
“Want to go have a drink, talk about this?”
I took a step back even though I longed more than anything to throw my arms around him, feel his lips on mine, and make out with him. “I don’t drink.”
“I don’t either, really,” he grinned. “Would it be totally inappropriate if I kissed you?”
The switch in topic startled me. “Yes,” I said, my eyes not leaving his for a moment.
Nevertheless, I didn’t move as he slowly leaned over me. He was going to kiss me. Every nerve in my body anticipated it while my brain kept shouting at me to walk away. Still, I had nowhere to go. My back was practically pressed up against the side of the Jeep. Matt was standing so close to me that I felt the heat emanating from his body. The truth of the matter was, I didn’t want to escape. I wanted him to kiss me. I just wouldn’t say the words.
He obviously didn’t need them. At first, the touch of his lips was light, feathery, and oh so soft. Then, the pressure gradually increased until I responded. Boy did I! My ears began to ring and I vaguely heard the sound of keys dropping. Oh God, I had never been kissed like this. I refused to contemplate exactly how skilled Matt was at kissing when the tip of his tongue caressed first my upper lip, then my lower one, gently urging my lips apart.
About the Authors
Alice Ward is the author of the New Adult series, RECKLESS.
Reading and Writing romance is her passion and she writes with her true heart.
Living in Miami, the beach is her favorite place to relax with her laptop and write her next spicy romance.
However, when she is not reading or writing romance, she also enjoys being with her beautiful family.
 
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Helen Grey is the author of the hot alpha military romance series “Serving the Soldier”.
Her passion is to write steamy erotic romance and she loves hot billionaire bad boys. Lucky for her, these two go perfectly together… Find out how in her books!
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Crime at Christmas

 
Cozy Crime
Date Published: November 2015
 
 

Jeremiah Arkwright rules his family by strict religious principles. But, they are growing up and no longer prepared to obey him without question. His own private life is found to have its secrets. The revelation of his hypocrisy leads to his death. Once again, Edith Horton finds herself at the heart of the mystery. Her own life is troubled; her friendships are strained and the death of Jeremiah Arkwright causes her to reflect on them.

 

Author Bio: Noreen lives in the English countryside with her dairy farmer husband, She has had short stories published and also has had some success as a freelance journalist. She works part-time at her local university as a mental health mentor. She uses her background as a mental health nurse in her writing. Crime at Christmas is the third in the Edith Horton mystery series. 

Review 

 

Sometimes I get to a point where I feel bogged down with all of the dark and depressing out there and I need a good laugh. I am so glad I came by this novel, it was just what I needed.
There is a great balance between the Crime/Mystery part of it and the Comedy. I found myself guessing the whole way through, and being wrong quite a bit, while laughing out loud. A Great Combination!

Wainright is able to unfold the plot believably while stringing readers along. The characters are well developed and easy to invest in.

 

Noreen lives in the English countryside with her dairy farmer husband, She has had short stories published and also has had some success as a freelance journalist. She works part-time at her local university as a mental health mentor. She uses her background as a mental health nurse in her writing. Crime at Christmas is the third in the Edith Horton mystery series. 

Wanderer’s Escape

 
Science Fiction
Date Published: January 8, 2013
 
 

Jess was born a prisoner, grew up a prisoner and at sixteen knew he would die a prisoner. When his turn comes to try to break through the traps protecting a spaceship it seems his day to die has come. The ship, and others like it, have already claimed hundreds of prisoners’ lives.

 

Instead he manages to avoid the traps and gain access to the ship with two other prisoners, beginning a frantic flight to freedom. Soon Jess finds himself loose in a brutal universe ruled by the Empire and riddled with pirates, slave traders and worse. Can Jess manage to learn the rules of the universe and the capabilities of the ship he has stolen in time to stay alive?

 

Review

An explosive start to a new Sci-Fi series. Simon Goodson manages to draw readers into his world and captivate us with his writing and characters. I think my main praise for Goodson would be his ability to use vivid descriptions to make the reader feel like they are in the world with the characters.
Being that this is the first in the series, there is a lot to wrap your head around. I loved the way that he is able to introduce us to all of the new places and things without us feeling bogged down with detail.

 

A smooth plot that keeps readers engaged throughout really rounds out the writing for me.

 

 

 

Simon Goodson is the author of the massively popular and highly rated Wanderer’s Odyssey science fiction series which has been downloaded more than 80,000 times in just two years.  Simon has also written the exciting Dark Soul Silenced fantasy books.

His speculative fiction short stories cover science fiction, fantasy and other styles. Several are freely available from http://www.simongoodson.com, while many more are available in the collection ‘Last Sunrise & Other Stories’.

Simon fits in writing around a full time job as an IT Consultant and a hectic family life looking after his son and two daughters. He squeezes in writing during lunchtimes and while commuting on the train.

 

 

Contact Information

Website:  http://www.simongoodson.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/SimonGoodsonAuthor/104549443042543

Twitter:    @simongv

Blog:       http://www.simongoodson.com/

 

Purchase Links

Amazon:   http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00AZ7YSFQ

Barnes and Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/wanderers-escape-simon-goodson/1115864715?ean=2940044603998

iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/wanderers-escape/id667134258

Kobo: https://store.kobobooks.com/en-US/ebook/wanderer-s-escape

Smashwords: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/328603

 

Fairly Certain

Quirky New Adult Fiction With a Twist

Date Published: 12/3/2015
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Book One of the Love of Fairs series
          What happens when a Computer Geek challenges a Medieval Outlaw?
Petir takes a rough tumble in the Connecticut woods, and awakens in the middle of old England. His instinct to freak out is tempered by the arrival of a fair maiden wearing a bow… and arrow. Throwing caution to the wind, Petir decides he has nothing to lose by pursuing Maid Rianne. But when she is captured by the enemy, a geek with no ability to defend himself must find a way to rescue the fair maiden.
          Look for the second book in the series, Fairly Safe, available this winter!
Excerpt
Despite the summer heat, she felt chilled to her very bones.
“I warned you not to cross me, Rianne. A true winner does not let anything interfere with his goal. You will come to thank me for this.” Lord Robert pulled her along.
“Thank you for this?” I have had enough.
Rianne shoved her shoulder into Robert’s ribs. He staggered to the side at the unexpected blow. She leaned over, raised a tucked leg, and slammed her heel into his chest. As he tumbled backward, she dropped to the ground to slip her bound hands underneath her and over her feet so they would be in front. Unfortunately, the simple maneuver was hampered by her skirts.
She was up and running, trying to reach the sanctuary of the forest, but the untangling of her skirts from her bonds had shortened her lead. Lord Robert was right on her heels. Within moments, he seized her around the waist and grappled her to the ground.
He stood up, breathing heavily. Lord Robert was built for smashing, not running. He dusted his hands off with distaste. Rianne lay on the ground, glaring at him, ignoring the pain in her hip. He brushed off his clothing, ignoring her.
“You are trying my patience, Maid Rianne.” He reached down to grab her by the arms, but she rolled out reach.
Scuttling after her, he effectively halted her by stomping on her skirt. He pulled her to her feet and shook her by her shoulders. “Nice try, but I am taking you to the sheriff, and there is nothing you can do about it.”
About the Author

DEBORAH ANN DAVIS writes Quirky New/Young Adult Fiction with a Twist. An award-winning author, speaker and personal trainer, she is popular with students, parents, readers and authors alike. Setting aside teaching to deal with Lyme disease led her to Fitness— to boost her body health—and Writing— to boost her happy health. Currently, she is a healthy and happy Educational Speaker and a Certified Personal Trainer. With an insightful and quirky approach to life, she shares life lessons with wit and compassion.
She presently resides on a lovely lake in Connecticut with her first boyfriend. Twelve years after their first kiss, Deborah reunited with, and married her childhood sweetheart. Together they coached their daughter’s AAU Basketball Team, which swept States two years in a row. (Yay!) Then, for several years, their daughter and their money went to college.
When she isn’t writing novels for her Love of Fairs series, she enjoys dabbling with living a sustainable life, dancing, playing outside, and laughing really hard every day. She also promotes increasing your movement throughout your day as Wiggle Writer in her Merry Meddling blog at http://deborahanndavis.com/merry-meddling/.
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Moon Over Alcatraz

Women’s Fiction
Date Published: November 15, 2015

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Brandy Chambers was looking forward to the birth of her first child. She and Weston move from San Francisco to the small town of Alameda to start a family, she’s writing her second book, and Weston has a fantastic job working on the Oakland-San Francisco Bay Bridge project. Having this baby would make her already-wonderful life perfect.
But when the baby dies after a difficult birth, Brandy’s perfect life blows up in her face. Stricken with grief, she and Weston pull apart. This new distance leads them both to disaster. Not until a chance encounter with her high school friend, Edward Barnes, does Brandy pull herself together. Brandy and Weston agree to recommit to each other, striving to forgive infidelity and recreate their previous existence.
Everything is once again going according to plan—until Brandy discovers she’s pregnant. While she struggles to cope with this new obstacle, Edward Barnes returns to town and discovers she’s having a baby, while Weston is torn between his love for his wife and his anger at her betrayal. Can Brandy manage to keep her marriage to Weston together? Will Edward be a part of Brandy’s life if she and Weston separate?
EXCERPT
“Breathe, Brandy, breathe.”
Weston’s voice came from the side of the hospital bed where I lay propped up, knees bent to accommodate Dr. Farney checking to see how far my cervix had dilated.
Gritting my teeth, eyes shut, I inhaled through my nose. The pungent odor of sweat wafted through my nostrils. I imagined the crest of a deep-blue wave curling over, white foam churning, crashing down, wave after wave speeding toward the edge of a sandy beach.
But I couldn’t take in a full breath. I opened my mouth, tried sucking in air, lungs on fire, the pain like a serrated knife to my belly, hands flailing, slapping the sides of the bed to get Weston’s attention.
“She can’t breathe.” I could hear the panic in his voice. He was scared. So was I. Is this how a first delivery is supposed to go?
Dr. Farney’s voice tore through the delivery room. “The baby’s heart rate is slowing.”
A plastic mask lowered over my mouth and nose, and a steady flow of oxygen began pouring through. I shifted my gaze to the right. Weston’s eyes were riveted on my lower body, his brows dipped down, mouth set in a tight line.
“What’s wrong?” I shouted, my voice muffled beneath the mask. Weston leaned down, his body blocking the glare of the overhead lights.
“Take deep breaths. They’re using forceps to get the baby out.” He gripped my hand and squeezed then edged toward the foot of the bed. “Doctor, is the baby okay?”
“Umbilical cord’s wrapped around her neck. She’s twisted in the birth canal.”
Dr. Farney’s voice sounded achingly calm.
Wrapped around her neck…twisted in the birth canal…My baby girl had been due in early June, but she was being born three weeks early. However, Dr. Farney had urged us not to worry.
The pain was beyond bad. It was excruciating. Suddenly the pressure in my groin subsided. I inhaled one deep breath, then another, and my lower body deflated like a leaky tire.
“The baby’s not…She’s not breathing,” Weston whispered.
A deafening silence splintered through the room.
I tugged on Weston’s hand. He twisted his head in my direction, tears glistening along his lower lashes.
My mind registered the screams, but my ears heard only the wild thumping of my heart as flecks of black clouded my vision.
Weston opened the front door of our house on Lauren Drive just a few blocks away from the hospital and I stepped through the threshold. Every chair, each pillow in the front room looked as if it had been reupholstered in drab, lifeless material. Walls, knickknacks, rugs took on an alien quality. I was seeing them for the first time with a new pair of eyes, filtered through a veil of tragedy and disappointment.
I sat on the couch, squinting out the window. Tiny sparrows flitted between the branches of the oak trees in our front yard. The warmer than average May weather had wilted the white petunias and pink geraniums cascading over the sides of the hanging baskets on the front porch. I’d have to water them soon.
Maybe if I closed my eyes when I awakened all of this would not have happened. Resting my hands on my stomach, I felt the place where she’d lived for nine months. Now only a small bulge remained which would be gone in a month or two. There was no baby inside of me. There was no baby outside of me. There was no baby, period.
A heavy blanket of guilt hung across my shoulders like a woolen shroud. I’d destroyed our happiness. On the other side of the room my mother’s gilt-edged mirror reflected an image — a woman with an empty womb, a black void for a uterus. My body had betrayed me. Unable to give birth to a healthy baby, I couldn’t give my husband the child we’d been waiting for nine long months.
About the Author

Born and raised in the San Francisco Bay Area, Patricia  attended St. Mary’s College, studied her junior year at the University of Madrid, received her B.A. in Spanish at UC Santa Barbara then went on to get a Master’s degree in Education at Oregon State University. She lives with her husband and two teenage children in Alameda, across the bay from San Francisco, along with two very large chocolate labs, Annabella and her son Jack. Patricia’s Friesian horse Maximus lives in the Oakland hills in a stall with a million dollar view.
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Mint Condition

 
Romantic Suspense
Date Published: 8/14/2015
 
 

Twenty-five-year-old Maddie Kerrigan is known at Midwest auto auctions as the tall, hot babe in the tight jumpsuit and red stilettos.  To take her car restoration company to the next level, she must sell a prized family heirloom: a one off, 53’ Cadillac Eldorado in mint condition.

Maddie’s senses go into over drive when the gorgeous California investor, Nick Berlin, shows up with a blank check in his hand and an irresistible gleam in his eye.  He doesn’t know much about old cars, but when Maddie invites him behind the wheel, he’s ready to push the pedal down.

But when a letter from her estranged father claims ownership of the car, and ties Nick to an old family enemy, Maddie puts the brakes on the sale and launches a road trip across country to confront her past.  How far will Nick go to get his hands on her chassis?

Review 

I loved the simplicity of this novel. It made for a quick read and would be great to cuddle up with by a fire  this winter.

 
Kat Drennan, born and raised in California, writes sensual stories from the heart of the Golden State.

From the curling surf at the edge of the continent, to the granite sculptures of the Sierra Nevada; from San Francisco to Death Valley and all the way to the Mexican border, California’s unique landscape and history step forward as characters in each of her novels.

She is an alumni of the Squaw Valley Community of Writers and a member of Romance Writers of America and RWA Contemporary.

She lives in Ojai, California with her handsome dogs (husband Fred and Aussie-doxie mix, Cooper) and two controlling cats.  She is happiest outdoors biking, swimming, or just breathing on the beach.

Kat loves to hear from her readers. You can follow her at http://www.katdrennan.com, or her Facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/KatDrennan.

 

 

Contact Information

Website:  http://www.katdrennan.com/

Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/KatDrennan

Twitter: hhttps://twitter.com/KatDrennan

Blog: http://katdrennan.com/surreal-icity-welcome-to-my-world/

Publisher Site: http://escargotbooksandmusic.com/mint-condition.html

 

Purchase Links

Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_c_0_11?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=kat+drennan&sprefix=Kat+Drennan%2Caps%2C253

Barnes and Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/mint-condition-kat-drennan/1122563197?ean=9781908191946

Kobo:  https://store.kobobooks.com/en-US/ebook/mint-condition-4

Publisher: http://escargotbooksandmusic.com/mint-condition.html

 

BIG DATA is Watching You

Fiction / Dystopian / Humor
Date Published: November 2015

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It’s way past 1984.  Your toothbrush, your coffee maker and your Rice Krispies are running your life.  But don’t worry… BIG DATA IS WATCHING YOU!
Welcome to Goozle Earth®, a dystopia where the all-knowing and all-powerful force of Big Data rules humanity through the Internet of Things and the corporate power of Goozle Inc.  Where English® and every possible combination of words has been copyrighted and the only law is the Terms of Service, which has been replaced by the Terms of Servitude.  Where the proudly psychopathic Higgs, Caesar and Emperor Omnipotent (CEO) of Goozle Inc., is determined to launch the Next Big Thing.
Smith, a happy native of this paradise, wanders off the grid and discovers sex®, the knowledge of good and evil, and the pursuit of Happiness. Can he save the human race from the Next Big Thing?


EXCERPT
Smith stared back in confusion when Julia said he was living in a dystopia.
“A dystopia?” he repeated. The word was new to him. “What do you mean?”
They were somewhere in the Green Mountains, walking on a dirt road through a strangely silent woods. That was all Smith knew. He’d lost his way in the hills, his car stopping short where a huge fallen tree blocked the road. The woman who introduced herself as Julia climbed over the fallen tree before he could tell his car to turn around. Surprisingly, she offered to walk him into the nearby village to find something to eat. The eerie silence followed them into the village, swallowing his thoughts. Julia looked different from anyone he’d ever seen, though she had (he soon realized) the same blond hair and blue eyes and the same awkward gait as everyone else in the village. The others—he noticed half a dozen villagers cutting weeds or stacking firewood around a row of decaying frame houses—weren’t nearly so friendly as she was. Most of them turned away or receded into the shadows rather than to look at him. Some of them, he realized with a start, had beards.
“It’s a society where, basically, life sucks,” she explained. “You have no freedom or privacy. You can’t do anything, you can’t say anything, you can’t even think without somebody spying on you or listening in.”
Smith didn’t want to seem condescending, but he couldn’t help feeling superior to the crouching lowlifes he’d noticed slinking away as Julia led him into the village. These were apparently her neighbors. Who was she to cast aspersions on his life in Goozle Earth?
“My life doesn’t suck,” he said, smiling as always. “In fact, I can’t imagine being happier than I am. I have a good job at Celebrity Solutions, a nice condo, hundreds of friends, and two wonderful pets. Everything I want is delivered to my door within thirty minutes by an Amazzond drone.”
Julia laughed. “Guess who drank the Kool Aid!”
“Kool Aid?” Kool Aid® was Smith’s favorite beverage.
“Try thinking an original thought and see what happens.”
He stared back uncomprehendingly.
“You know,” she teased. “Say something more than 140 characters long.”
What was she talking about? Did she seriously expect him to violate the Terms of Service? She spoke fluent English® but used words he’d never heard before, like “freedom” and “privacy.” He’d heard that connectivity could be poor in rural areas, where the inhabitants—known as “Yahoos”—often expressed eccentric, paranoid ideas. Obviously, for whatever reason, he and Julia weren’t connecting. Still, there was something about her that affected him in a surprising, unfamiliar way. He later learned that it was called “sex®.”
Author Contact Links
Twitter: @BHart_man
 
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